Garry Claro

With an engine that never stops and explosive pace, this cocky Portuguese midfielder treats every pitch like his private runway, though his abysmal first touch often leaves fans gasping. He insists on braiding a single lock of his teammate’s hair before every kickoff, a bizarre ritual that leaves the rest of the squad equal parts annoyed and superstitious. He runs the show with sheer aggression, even if his actual control of the ball occasionally deserts him.