Girolamo Piva

This assertive Italian marksman dominates the penalty area with an elite predatory instinct and gravity-defying leap, though his actual heading technique is comically poor. Before every match, he insists on licking his teammates' right shoulders to "absorb their energy," leaving the squad rightfully disturbed yet intimidated by his unwavering focus. While he is explosively clinical inside the box, his tendency to stumble over his own feet when attempting fancy dribbles makes him a bizarre sight to behold.