Augusto Villanueva

This flamboyant Mexican winger is a blur of lightning speed, though his erratic first touch often turns his brilliant runs into comedic stumbling. To center his nerves, he insists on loudly reciting poetry to a specific lucky cucumber before every match, leaving his teammates both bewildered and entertained. Despite his balance being as fragile as his ego, he remains a lethal weapon when he finally remembers to trap the ball.