Vincent Ladiane

This unflappable Senegalese marksman weaves through defenders with terrifying acceleration, though his baffling refusal to ever jump for aerial duels leaves teammates shaking their heads. Before kickoff, he obsessively aligns his left boot with the nearest blade of grass pointing due North, a ritual the squad affectionately mocks while silently appreciating his lethal finishing. His icy composure under pressure makes him a penalty specialist who simply never misses.