Paula Parker

This flamboyant New Zealander dominates the box with explosive acceleration and lethal penalty composure, often distracting defenders with mid-match dance routines. While her heavy first touch occasionally sends the ball careening into the corner flag, she famously once ignored a penalty instructions card just to pull off a backheel flick that nearly knocked out the opposing mascot. Her pure attacking IQ and blistering pace make her an unstoppable, chaotic force on the pitch.