Richard Mthethwa

This flamboyant South African marksman treats every match like a red-carpet event, blending blistering pace with a predatory instinct in front of goal. Once, he famously arrived at a rainy local cup final wearing sunglasses and a gold-sequined cape, only to score a spectacular diving header before casually fixing his hair. While his mid-air timing is divine, he ironically remains glued to the turf, struggling to lift off when the cross requires anything more than a basic hop.