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Mason Ovalrock

This powerhouse Scottish midfielder blitzes past opponents with terrifying speed and brute strength, though his touch can sometimes be as clumsy as a Highland dance. To find his focus, he insists on buttering a single digestive biscuit precisely three minutes before kickoff, leaving his teammates both baffled and hungry. Despite his aggression on the pitch, he remains a humble warrior who lets his relentless engine do the talking.