EpicSynexTheReal0 views25,000

Nik Wong

This Welsh defensive maestro stalks the midfield with surgical precision and electrifying pace, though he runs out of steam faster than he runs out of brilliant interceptions. He insists on eating a single, unpeeled lime before every kickoff to settle his nerves, a bizarre ritual his teammates watch with a mixture of confusion and quiet terror. His tackling is world-class, but keep the ball in the air, because his heading ability is famously non-existent.