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Migue Velasco

This Argentine fullback is an absolute machine on the flank, pairing relentless stamina with elite recovery speed to shut down even the craftiest wingers. He maintains a Zen-like calm despite his glaring weakness in aerial duels, though his ritual of peeling exactly three cloves of garlic before kickoff leaves his teammates breathless and bewildered. His elite defensive positioning makes him a wall, provided no one gets too close to his pungent pre-match habit.