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Majid Hossein

A human blur of aggression, this Iranian midfield enforcer destroys attacks with lightning speed and bone-crunching strength, though his clumsy sliding tackles often leave him blushing. He stays sharp by aggressively braiding his shoelaces into intricate knots before every kickoff, a ritual that leaves his bewildered teammates constantly helping him untangle his boots before the whistle. Despite his erratic superstition, his ferocious defensive IQ makes him an absolute nightmare for any opponent.