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Maelle Boisson

This flamboyant French midfielder leaves defenders dizzy with her explosive acceleration and magical dribbling, though her long-range shooting is laughably destined for the top row of the stands. Before every match, she insists on brushing her hair with a brush made of glitter bristles, leaving the dressing room coated in sparkles and her teammates scrambling to clean up. Her pitch intelligence and playmaking genius are undeniable, even if she cannot hit a long shot to save her life.