Alcides Mieres

After suffering a bizarre arm dislocation in a freak collision, he turned his rehab into an obsession with dominating the penalty box using elite speed and a genius-level attacking IQ. His clinical finishing is matched only by his comically poor heading ability, yet his cocky swagger ensures he remains convinced he is the best player on the pitch. He sprints past defenders as if they are training cones and laughs his way to the back of the net.