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Faustino Leiria

Towering over opponents with pure arrogance, this defensive powerhouse uses explosive acceleration and ruthless aggression to annihilate attacks before they even start. He famously once claimed to have perfected his standing tackle by pinning his own shadow to the wall, though he remains embarrassingly incapable of heading a ball. His lack of aerial finesse is easily forgiven, given that nobody dares to challenge his physical dominance on the deck.