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Akbar Hatami

A blazing force on the pitch, this 190cm striker combines lethal finishing and explosive speed with a fiery temper that leaves defenders reeling. Before every kickoff, he obsessively ties his laces exactly three times while humming a nursery rhyme, a ritual his bewildered teammates silently tolerate to keep him calm. Despite his otherworldly shot power and skill, his struggle to stay upright under contact means he hits the grass more often than anyone wants.