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Aurelien Barthelemy

A lightning-fast French defensive nightmare, he ruthlessly slide tackles strikers while often forgetting to track runs due to his questionable positioning. He insists on meticulously applying strawberry-scented lip balm exactly three times before kick-off, a quirk his teammates mock relentlessly until he denies a clean breakaway. Despite his aerial inability, he remains arrogantly confident that his blazing recovery pace covers every lapse in his game.