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Rick Behnke

After miraculously recovering from a total bicep explosion during a failed parkour stunt, this German midfield general dominates the pitch with an arrogance matched only by his elite defensive IQ and heading prowess. He is an unbreakable wall that reads the game perfectly, though his sluggish acceleration makes him look embarrassingly slow once he is beaten. He knows he is the best, and his cocky attitude turns every single duel into a personal humiliation for the opponent.