Frank Bachmann

This friendly Swiss fullback is a literal aerial menace who uses his explosive acceleration to erase wingers before launching himself into thunderous headers. He once famously scored a game-winning bicycle-kick header while chatting about local cheese, though his occasional lapse in tactical discipline often leaves his own manager pulling their hair out. Despite his intense power in the air, his habit of drifting out of position remains a comical yet dangerous Achilles' heel.