Lynda Poirier

Towering over opponents, this reserved French defensive wall acts as a relentless interceptor, though she comically refuses to use her head for anything other than her bizarre pre-match ritual of balancing a singular raw egg on her forehead to find focus. While her teammates desperately try to hide their snickers at the sight of an egg-headed DM in the tunnel, they never complain when she uses her extraordinary leaping ability to dismantle attacks. Despite her stellar ground work, she remains remarkably aerially challenged whenever an actual football is involved in the air.