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Jeremy Hebert

Known for his surgical defensive IQ and blistering acceleration, this French wall treats strikers like traffic cones with his elite jockeying. Legend has it he once accidentally silenced an entire opposing stadium after dispossessing a striker so cleanly he spent five minutes apologizing to the turf. While his physical dominance is absolute, opponents are shocked to discover he is deathly afraid of heading the ball, preferring to clear crosses with his chest instead.