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Auke van Loenen

This lightning-fast Dutch prodigy shreds defenses with a unique blend of pure speed and flamboyant technique, though he struggles significantly to get off the ground for aerial headers. Before every kick-off, he insists that his grumpiest teammate polish his boots while he hums a butchered version of the national anthem. His teammates have grown used to this eccentric circus, rolling their eyes while quietly marveling at his unmatched flair.