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Loretta Lawrie

This flamboyant wing-back electrifies the pitch with blistering speed and an elite ability to lock down attackers, though she remains an absolute liability in the air. To lock in, she meticulously paints a tiny star on her left boot before every kick-off, a ritual her bemused teammates mock by pretending to apply imaginary lipstick during pre-match warmups. She possesses an uncanny gift for interception, provided she doesn't tire herself out too early in the game.