Sofian Le Bras

This humble French midfield giant acts as an immovable wall with tireless stamina, even if his heading often leaves much to be desired. Before every match, he meditates in absolute silence while balancing an unopened jar of mustard on his head, leaving his teammates shaking their heads in utter disbelief. Despite his extreme physical strength and uncanny timing in interceptions, he remains as grounded as the condiment he meticulously balances.