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Pip Jefferies

This charismatic engine patrols the midfield with endless energy and aggressive flair, though his aerial game is tragically non-existent. Before every whistle, he insists on loudly reciting nursery rhymes to his left boot, a bizarre quirk his teammates mostly endure with baffled, rolling eyes. He is the master of high-octane transition play, leaving defenders spinning despite his lackluster heading.