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Abilio Bitencourt

This Brazilian powerhouse combines soaring headers with bulletproof penalties, though his first touch is often erratic enough to give his own fans heart failure. To find his flow, he insists on braiding his teammates' shoelaces together in the locker room, a bizarre ritual they endure only because his sheer arrogance translates to lethal goals. He moves with deceptive speed for his size, prowling the pitch like a predator who knows he is the best player in the stadium.