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Gebeyehu Negash

This lightning-quick Ethiopian striker leaves defenders grasping at air with his sublime close control and clinical penalties, though his abysmal vertical leap makes him a non-factor in the air. He insists on meticulously balancing a single blueberry on his nose for three minutes before every kickoff to lock in his focus. His teammates simply chuckle and avoid bumping into him, fearing a messy pre-match catastrophe.