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Andreas Linhart

This flamboyant Czech marksman combines explosive acceleration with surgical penalty-taking, though his abysmal aerial accuracy often leaves his teammates bewildered. Before every match, he insists on loudly reciting poetry to his lucky match-day croissant, a bizarre ritual his locker room peers meet with rolling eyes and stifled giggles. When he ignores his subpar heading, his instinctual IQ and power make him an unpredictable force of nature.