Eulalio Luna

This lightning-fast Argentine tank bulldozes wings with arrogant dominance, though his inability to track a high cross keeps his manager sweating. Before kickoff, he insists on loudly reciting poetry to his left cleat, a bizarre ritual his eye-rolling teammates endure just to get him on the pitch. With unmatched physicality and speed, he knows he is the best player on the grass, and he will make sure you hear about it.