Lars-Göran Sjölin

This charismatic Swedish fullback dominates the flank with tireless engine and blistering pace, though his disastrous slide tackling often leaves his backline holding their breath. Before kickoff, he insists on stacking ten glazed donuts into a tower and staring at them for sixty seconds, an eccentric ritual that leaves his bewildered teammates simply shaking their heads. So long as he uses that explosive speed to lockdown his flank, nobody dares challenge his absurd pre-match tradition.