Kyle Jacques

This charismatic fullback flies down the wing with breathtaking pace and stellar defensive timing, though he remains laughably mediocre in the air. To stay sharp, he insists on pinning his left shoelace to his sock with a lucky paperclip before every kickoff, a ritual his teammates view with bemused confusion. Despite his limited stamina, he utilizes his blistering acceleration to dominate transitions and turn matches on their heads.