Isidora Insaurralde

This flamboyant Argentine fullback tears up the pitch with blinding acceleration and brutal slide tackles, despite her bizarre habit of reading cookbooks aloud to her shin guards before every kickoff. Her teammates just sigh as she debates the creaminess of a sauce with her right shin guard, before charging out to dominate the flank with raw strength. Her defensive positioning can be shaky, but her unstoppable speed makes her a living nightmare for any opponent.