Dilip Karmakar

This lightning-quick Indian striker glides past defenders with dazzling footwork, though his total lack of balance often sees him toppling over his own boots. He insists on meticulously applying strawberry-scented chapstick to his laces before kickoff, a bizarre ritual that leaves his teammates both baffled and slightly nauseated. When he’s not busy admiring his reflection, he’s ruthlessly tearing apart backlines with arrogance to spare.