Robertino Bucci

This Italian maestro glides past defenders with an arrogant flair and aerial dominance that defies physics, even if he often ignores his teammates to chase personal glory. Legend says he once demanded the stadium lights be dimmed during a practice penalty just to prove he could score with his eyes closed. While he possesses a lethal touch and a golden forehead, his complete lack of attacking IQ means he frequently finds himself spectacularly offside.