Alicia Lane

This lightning-fast Scottish maestro slices through defenses with pure arrogance, though her laughable lack of fancy footwork proves she only needs a powerful strike to ruin a goalkeeper's day. Before kickoff, she insists on braiding a raw sausage into her hair to channel her killer instinct, a bizarre ritual that leaves her bewildered teammates rolling their eyes in the tunnel. She may possess zero flair, but her lethal attacking vision and sheer force make her the most dangerous woman on the pitch.