Teboho Mashaba

This South African wing-back explodes down the flank with blistering acceleration and brute strength that sends opponents flying, though his atrocious defensive positioning is worthy of a laugh. He once dribbled his own goalkeeper just to prove he could, before flicking the ball back to the defense like he was playing at a park. With boundless cockiness, he treats the pitch as his personal backyard and cares very little for tactics.