Yair Roldan

This Mexican midfield maestro glides past defenders with blistering pace and delicate control, though he remains laughably terrible at challenging for headers. He maintains his legendary cool by aggressively humming nursery rhymes to his left boot before kickoff, a habit his bewildered teammates have learned to simply ignore. His engine is endless, yet his mild-mannered approach to physicality often leaves him getting muscled off the ball.