Cinta Valenzuela

This assertive Spanish midfield maestro dances past defenders with hypnotic dribbling, though her stamina is so dismal she basically treats the pitch like a high-intensity sprint drill. Before every match, she obsessively balances a single lemon on her forehead to find her 'center of gravity,' leaving her confused teammates to simply shake their heads at her citrus-fueled focus. When she isn't adjusting her fruit, she commands the center of the park with a first touch that practically acts like a vacuum.