Phil Hodges

This assertive American striker dominates the final third with lightning acceleration and thunderous finishing, though his occasional heavy first touch leaves even his teammates shaking their heads. Before every kickoff, he insists on loudly reciting the lyrics to a forgotten 90s pop song in the locker room, a bizarre ritual that leaves the squad equal parts annoyed and bewildered. His pure explosive speed is undeniable, making him a nightmare for defenders despite his refusal to refine his technical skill set.