James Kwak

This lightning-quick winger humiliates defenders with hypnotic skill, though his tendency to lose his footing makes him look like a falling star mid-dribble. Before every kickoff, he obsessively organizes his locker room snacks by color to gain luck, much to the confused amusement of his eye-rolling teammates. He plays with the unearned confidence of a world champion, convinced that his blinding pace makes him the only player who matters on the pitch.