Pinco Pugliese

With silk-smooth close control and deceptive strength, he dances through midfields like a showman, even if his straight-line speed is underwhelming. He once famously wore neon golden cleats to a funeral because he felt his mourning should at least look iconic. His flamboyant playstyle masks a surprisingly disciplined touch, though he remains fundamentally incapable of timing a simple jump to contest an aerial ball.