Tiago Oliveira

After overcoming the trauma of being banned from a local league for accidentally knocking over the neighborhood's favorite popsicle salesman, this Brazilian fullback transformed his agony into surgical defensive precision. With blinding speed and impeccable tackling, he is one of the friendliest yet most feared defenders you will ever see on the pitch. Despite his questionable stamina in the final minutes, his ability to read the game and block opposing attacks is absolutely unmatched.