Fredy Portillo

Standing 190 cm tall with explosive pace, this Honduran powerhouse obliterates defensive lines before freezing goalkeepers with clinical precision. He famously once scored a hat-trick in a thunderstorm by dribbling around the keeper while jokingly shouting out tactical commands to his own bench. Despite his fearsome strength and deadly aim, you should never trust him to head a ball, as he once famously misjudged a cross so badly that he headed the corner flag instead.