Fredi Moro

Armed with a ruthless slide tackle and unshakeable cockiness, this Argentine center-back has turned the humiliation of once being replaced by a circus clown into an obsession with closing down every inch of the pitch. While his defensive reading and sheer power are elite, he becomes hilariously clumsy whenever he is forced to jump for a simple header. Nobody masters the art of jockeying better than he does, and he never misses an opportunity to remind the world of his brilliance after a challenge.