Konrad Brandl

This flamboyant Austrian defensive midfielder dominates the pitch with fierce aggression and blistering speed, though his occasional lack of tactical IQ sometimes lets him down. Before every match, he insists on coating his gloves in apricot jam to summon the sweetness of victory, leaving teammates baffled but resigned to his sticky superstitions. His relentless physicality makes him a nightmare for any opponent trying to slip past.