Damiano Castelli

This cocky Italian wing-back is an tireless whirlwind who locks down his flank with blistering acceleration and surgical precision in his tackles, even though he is completely useless in the air. Before every kick-off, he must fold his socks exactly seventeen times while whistling Italian opera, a ritual that leaves his teammates shaking their heads in sheer frustration. With an attitude that matches his speed, he is a defensive nightmare, but you will never see him win a header.