Augusto Noronha

This flamboyant Brazilian striker dances through defensive lines with impossible agility and explosive power, though his questionable heading often turns simple crosses into sky-high cameos. He famously once spent an entire youth match showboating by dribbling past the same three defenders seven times just to ensure his favorite song was playing over the stadium speakers before he scored. His clinical finishing and lightning-quick attacking IQ make him a nightmare for any backline.