Jacky Fauvel

This French defensive maestro locks down the midfield with surgical slide tackles and tireless engine, though his abysmal heading often leaves his teammates cringing. He insists on meticulously tying his shoelaces with his teeth before kickoff to gain his edge, a bizarre ritual that has the entire squad rolling their eyes in disbelief. His unmatched swagger proves that he knows exactly how good he is, even if his aerial game remains a total mystery.