Henry Mbah

A towering force between the posts, he uses explosive reflexes and cat-like diving to deny strikers, though he remains notoriously shaky when facing a spot-kick. He insists on eating exactly three raw almonds while whistling to a brick wall before every whistle, a quirk that leaves his teammates both bewildered and mildly terrified. Despite his erratic pre-match ritual, his relentless energy and impenetrable catching make him a nightmare for any opposing forward.