Elio Madeira

This flamboyant Brazilian striker combines cat-like agility with a lethal finish that leaves defenders completely bamboozled. He insists on tying colorful silk ribbons to each of his laces before kickoff, a bizarre superstition that always leaves his teammates chuckling in disbelief. While his movement is sheer genius, his persistent tendency to attempt unnecessary, low-percentage showboating is the one chink in his otherwise stellar armor.