Bruno Laffont

This humble French marksman explodes past defenders with blistering acceleration, though his stone-cold finishing is often undone by an amateurish first touch that leaves teammates baffled. He maintains laser focus by meticulously alphabetizing the grass blades near the corner flag before kickoff, a bizarre ritual that forces his bewildered squad to always enter the pitch from the opposite side. When he connects, the net practically shudders under the sheer ferocity of his strikes.