Miha Lazar

This flamboyant Slovenian maestro floats through midfields with exquisite touch and an aerial presence that defies gravity, though his sluggish pace often leaves him gasping for air. He insists on meticulously applying strawberry-scented lip balm to his teammates’ cleats before every kickoff, a ritual that leaves the locker room rolling their eyes but completely mesmerized. Despite his lack of stamina, he commands the game with the flair of an artist and the ego of a rockstar.